A Very, Very Strange AU Basketball-Related Dream

Normally I wouldn't post about this, but it is so bizarre that I feel the need to. I dream pretty vividly, but most of the time I don't remember my dreams. However, last night I had a dream that I remembered quite vividly and, after retaining memory of it for the entire day, I decided I had to post it.

I had a dream that I went to the season opener in Bender Arena last night but that the bleachers on the sidelines had been removed and replaced with lawn chairs. That in and of itself is perverse, but it gets a lot weirder. Why? Because our beloved AU Eagles' starting five consisted of the following individuals:

The kid on the movie poster for the God awful movie "Baby Geniuses"


Jonathan Lipnicki, the little kid from Jerry Maguire

and, of course, since no ridiculous AU basketball dream sequence could be complete without them, the remaining three AU starters were...


EWOKS from Stars Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi.

But that's not all folks. When, in the dream, I realized who Jeff Jones had started, I was justifiably upset. I stood up from my lawn chair and screamed out, "Coach, let me play!" This was the part where I knew it was a dream because Jeff Jones actually turned and acknowledged me in the stands. He surveyed me with that piercing glare and stoic grimace of his and screamed at me, "Sit down, your legs are too short!"

I'm just under 6'4" and am gangly and have very long legs. The illogic of Coach Jones's assessment of me was enough to wake me up, where I then realized that I should probably lay off eating multiple racks of ribs in a sitting. To be fair, I'm not sure I can play basketball better than an ewok, but you've got to imagine my game is a little tighter than six-year-old Jonathan Lipnicki.

No matter how this season shapes up, AU basketball fans, at least we know we won't be starting ewoks, and as far as my messed up subconscious is concerned, that already puts us way ahead of the curve.

Happy Labor Day.

Pro deo et patria and GO EAGLES!